My Story
by Sammyomgzrly
Summary: Hi, my name's Noodle... and this week has been the bane of my life. I've screwed up... biiiiig time. Slight NoodleX2D. Rated 'M' for language. R and R pleaseee!
1. Monday

**(Disclaimer: don't own 'em)**

**Noodle's Story:**

Don't you just HATE it when people who always forget stuff, remember the things you wish they wouldn't?

I do.

Hi, my name's Noodle… and this week had been the bane of my life.

Let me explain…

Cue the lights! Audience… shut the hell up and be prepared for a rollercoaster tale.

* * *

'Face-ache… geeze, how fuckin' dumb are yeh?! We have a week and a bit to get this fuckin' song right, SING IT PROPERLY YOU TWAT!' screamed Murdoc, pulling at his greasy hair.

'Sowwy, Muds… I keep forgettin' to sing tha' bit of th' song.' 2D mumbled, blushing.

'No surprise there then…' growled Murdoc. 'Righ'… start from the chorus!'

'Let's go!' I giggled, strumming the chords of my guitar.

'I saw that dayyyyy,

Lost my miiiiiind…

Lord I'm fiiiiiiine…

Maybe in time; you'll waaaaant to be mineee.' Sang 2D, soothing the microphone with his soft voice.

'Fuckin' YES mate! Top notch, dullard!' grinned Murdoc 'Yeh, your gonna be fine fer now. Wrap it up, lads.'

'And lady…' I reminded him.

'Wotever' Murdoc yawned, throwing his bass in the corner and strolling out of the room, scratching his balls as he went.

'Charming male…' I muttered under my breath, as Russel followed Murdoc out, and 2D sorted out the microphone.

'S'ok Noods… Murdoc's a tossa'… we all know that' 2D said, ruffling my hair just like he always does.

'Thanks, 2D' I smiled, hugging him after I'd placed my guitar on its stand.

'Anytime, love' he grinned, kissing my forehead.

I LOVE it when he does that…

It's not like I fancy him or anything… okay I'm lying. I fancy him a bit. …okay… a lot.

A huge lot.

I blushed for an hour after 2D kissed my head.

So I decided to stay in my room until that subsided.

'Oi… Noods… c'mon down to my room in 5, ok?' 2D smiled, poking his head round my door.

'Oh, 2D… you scared me then!' I giggled, sitting up and tilting my head to the side. 'Why?' I asked.

'I got sumfink for yah' he winked, walking away before I could ask anymore.

Confused, I got up and made sure I looked half decent. I was wearing skinny jeans, a white tank top and a necklace 2D had brought back from Thailand for me. I haven't taken it off since.

Five minutes later, I was hammering on 2D's door.

'Let me innnnnn!' I whined, leaning my forehead on the door, just as 2D opened it, making me fall headfirst… into his crotch. …Great.

'Wooooah there, love!' 2D laughed, steadying me and placing his hands over my eyes.

'2D… what are you doing?' I giggled, running my hands over his… just for the thrill.

'Wait for it…' 2D whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

He nudged me forward with a push of his hips… pressing himself against my back as he did so. Ohhh… do it again, I willed. This is the closest I've been to him in awhile.

As he nudged me forward, I felt my foot hit something. 'Bingo!' 2D whooped, taking his hands off my eyes.

I looked down, to see a shiny black guitar on a new stand, with my name engraved into in a Japanese font. My jaw dropped. This was the guitar I'd been pining for for months now!

'Oh… 2D… thank you… oh my god… I love it… Ohhh it's beautiful…' I sighed, dropping to my knees and stroking the guitar.

'I knew yah liked it, so I fort I'd get it for yah, as a fankyou for being a great friend' 2D smiled, sitting next to be and placing an arm around my waist.

'Awwwww 2D… you didn't have to… friendship costs nothing!' I laughed, pecking him on the cheek.

'Don't be silly, Noods… you're special to me.' He smiled, hugging me.

We stayed like that for awhile, as I just sat there, gazing at my new guitar, cuddled up to 2D. At that moment… it was perfect.

Then I had to screw it all up…

We sat there for about half an hour in total silence, until I felt 2D's hand on my neck. This sent shivers down my spine again… the nice kind.

'Your still wearing it…' he smiled, fingering my necklace.

'Yup, never taken it off' I grinned, doing the same, 'accidentally' brushing my hands against his. As I did so, he grasped my hands and twisted me round from where I was sat, so I was facing him.

'Noods… you mean a lot to me y'know…' he said softly.

I blushed a lot then. I shyly looked into his eyes.

'You mean a lot to be too, 2D…' I whispered, tilting my head up a bit.

'You're like someone I've never met before… like a-' he started, but I put my finger to his lips.

'Don't worry 2D… I feel the same…' I purred inching closer to him. He looked at me, confused and went to say something, when I hushed him.

'You don't need to explain, 2D…' I said seductively, leaning in and pressing my lips to his.

Oh… that moment was bliss… until…

'Noodle... what the hell!?!' a voice roared from behind us.

I jumped up and turned around to see Murdoc, standing in the door way.

'How long have you been there?!' I stuttered, starting to shake.

'Long-e-fucking-nough.' Murdoc growled, shoving me out of the way and heading towards 2D, who'd backed himself up against the wall.

'Oh… fuck…' I stammered, tears forming in my eyes.

I watched as Murdoc slammed a fist into 2D's gut. I didn't know what to do…

…so I turned round and ran.

I ran and ran until I reached my room, flung myself in, shoved a chest of drawers in the way of the door, and sunk to my bed, sobbing.

2D got beaten up, and it was my entire fault. I didn't help him… I ran like a fucking wimp.

I made a fool of myself, in front of my long-term crush.

I made Murdoc see red, and blame 2D.

He's never gonna talk to me again.

…and this was just day one.


	2. Tuesday

**(Disclaimer: NO.) (Sorry for the slow update... i broke my laptop :( but it's fixed now, so on with the story we go :D Thanks for the reviews! Keep it up, ;) )**

Day 2.

I think I may as well just up and go.

Well… that's a shallow threat, I'd never leave… but it seems like the only person who isn't ignoring me… IS MYSELF…

On with my riveting tale of how I'm an embarrassment to myself. Ohh, joy.

* * *

I sat there, watching my cornflakes slowly expand as they soaked up the milk that I'd poured in my bowl about half an hour ago.  
The kitchen was painfully silent, only interrupted by a clearing of the throat, or a belch form the one and only Murdoc Niccals.

I'd tried to get 2D's attention, but he's blatantly ignoring me.

After a while, I scraped back my chair, and slouched out the room, glancing back to see 2D sit up a little bit straighter, wincing from last night's… episode, shall I say.

'2D, I know this is rare I ever fuckin' say this, righ', but seriously, stay the fuck away from Noods! Don't look at her, don't fink' about her, don't even imagine what she looks like!' Murdoc growled after I'd left the room.

'Murdoc…' Russel mused '…how many times is your nose broken again?'

'Eight... why?' Murdoc snapped

'Coz if you don't fucking shut it and leave 'D alone, you can times that by one thousand… and by that time… you won't be able to.' Russel chuckled, clipping Murdoc around the head as he walked out of the kitchen, brushed past me and slammed into his room.

I stared after him, for what seemed like an age, when I was knocked back into the wall, by a shoulder passing me.

'Watch where your going!' I mumbled, rubbing the back of my head and looking down the corridor to see the offender.

I had to stop myself from running down the corridor and hit the person with all the strength I had. I wanted to hit him out of hate, of anger… of sorrow, of miss-understanding, of pity… of guilt.

Down the corridor, shuffled a 6ft-ish, blue haired god, hands in his pockets, head bowed. Looking like heaven. On stilts. Slightly bashed up.

In the sexy way.

Fuck, I hate you.

…I love you…

A lump formed in my throat, and my eyes stung. I stared and stared after 2D, until he was a small blue blur through my tears, and then he was gone.

No sorry…

No excuse me…

No hello…

Just a shove.

Well fucking thankyou, 2D.

A tear rolled down my cheek, soon followed by a river of them.

'It's not fair…' I mumbled, as Murdoc sauntered past me, no word at all. Just scratching his fucking big hairy ass.

'WHY DO YOU ALL HATE ME?!' I screamed, just as the rhythmic thump from Russel's hiphop started.

More tears flowed down my cheeks as I crawled to my room, wallowing in self pity and hatred. I curled up on my bed and rocked back and fourth, bawling my eyes out, scratching, biting, pinching whatever bit of exposed flesh I could see on myself.

In desperation, I reached under my bed, and found one of my daggers, used for killing zombies when needed, and studied it for a while.

Clean, sharp, shiny…deadly…

In a split second, I'd drew the dagger down my bare arm, blood popping up to the surface as the skin split, then spilling over the cut, trickling slowly down my arm, a warm trail of hatred leaving my body.

God that felt good…

Again, another slice, over the first initial cut, blood from the fresh cut entwining with the trails of older blood. I giggled feebly as I watched the blood run down my arm, drying slowly.  
The rush I got from it… felt so damn good. Almost as good as sex… not that I would know…

Okay… I would. And no, it wasn't to 2D… shame, haha.

…That's a story for another day…

I ran the dagger down my arm again, breathing heavily as I relaxed, closing my eyes, enjoying the sense of calm and peace it gave me.

Giggling, I fell back on my bed, grinning like an idiot, feeling calm and happy…

until I realised what I'd just done.

'Oh shit, Noodle…. What have you just done to yourself...' I groaned, as I slapped my self around the face and took a proper look at my arm.

The blood had started to dry and clot up, making my am look like it'd been squirted with crimson red paint.  
3 angry red gashes glared at me from my arm, dry blood all bumpy around it.

'Shit shit shit…' I muttered, jumping up from my bed and searching for some tissue.

As I did so, I knocked a book from my shelf, and it fell open on the floor.

I rolled my eyes and bent down to pick it up. A small piece of paper fluttered out and landed at my feet, with some rushed writing scribbled in black ink on it.

I picked it up and read the note.

_Everything falls apart  
__Even the people who never frown eventually break down,  
__Everything has to end,  
You'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind…_

_-2D._

'What does this mean…?' I whispered, scrunching the piece of paper up and shoving it in my back pocket.

'Time to go find 2D… but first… sort out my arm…' I told myself, shaking my shoulders and heading towards the bathroom.

...Day Two down… Five more to go… how much more do I screw up?

Let's wait and see, shall we?...


	3. Wednesday

Got suicide for my baby

Living up until I wanted

Seeing like I'm out of bed, yeah

Moving up and taught I'm a weapon .

* * *

'I… I don't understand why, though…' I stammered as I sat on the edge of 2D's bed.

Yeah, I found my balls and wandered down to his room, where he was sprawled out on his bed, fag in his mouth, looking like gorgeousness it's self… I think my knees actually went weak when I saw him.

'Well, righ', Muds is plannin' to shoot the video El Manana, and your gonna be Th' star of it… and die in it…' 2D sighed, shifting himself so he was sitting up.  
I looked at him. 'I'm actually gonna die?!' I shrieked, eyes wide in alarm, cupping my face in my hands. Oh damn, big mistake number 56786.

'No, I would never let yo-… what's that on your arm, Noods?' 2D questioned, moving towards me.

'Nothing, nothing. So…I'm not gonna die?' I said hurriedly, changing the subject as quickly as I could.

'Nah… s'all gonn' be staged. Anyway… wassat on ya' arm, luv?' 2D repeated, pointing at my bandaged arm.

'Nothing…' I said, rolling my eyes and shifting my arm slightly.

2D lunged at me and pinned me down on his bed, arms above my head. At this point, my heart was beating so fast I thought I was gonna die there and then!  
He moved his hips to shift himself and took hold of my arm, me in a state of ecstasy and terror, tried to yank it away, but he held my arm tightly and began to unwrap my bandage.

I closed my eyes tightly and prayed he'd think a zombie attacked me or something crap like that… unlikely… 2D is quite sharp with things that are wrong with people, damn him.

He breathed out slowly as the bandage fell away, and my shoulders slumped.

'Why, Noods?' he asked simply, climbing off me so I could sit up.

'You've done it…' I mumbled, crossing my arms.

'That was because I was off my 'ead on pills and I'd just finished wi' Paula!' 2D exclaimed, staring at me.

'So what? This is no different…' I retaliated, standing up.

''Ow is it no different? You're not on drugs? You 'aven't broken up with anyone you love? Your band mate didn't screw your girlfriend either…'

'No… maybe not…' I answered, turning away and walking towards the door, 'but I'm afraid I've jut lost someone I love with all my heart…'

'Psht… whossat then?' 2D chuckled sarcastically, flumping backwards on his bed.

Just as I reached the door, I turned around and looked him straight in the eye. 

'You.' 

I walked quickly up the steps leading to the carpark, managing not to fall, and just stood at the top, breathing deeply to calm myself.

I wanted to scream at Murdoc, yell at Russel to save me, and tell 2-D I love him with all my heart. I just had no clue what to do. My knees gave way as I was thinking, so I ended up sprawled on the cold floor of the carpark. In just my pyjamas. …with that note still in my hand, damn me for forgetting about that!  
I waged a war inside my head… go down and inquire about the note, find Murdoc and insult the hell out of his sex-driven ass, or go and seek comfort with Russel…

…and I chose the stupid way out.

Stumbling down the stairs, I tripped a few steps from the bottom and landed on my knees. Trying not to cry, I slowly got up, wincing from the pain, and forced myself on 2D's door, making it slowly creak open.

'I'msleep, goway.' 2D mumbled, as I entered the room, watching him pull his covers up over his head.

How can he fall asleep so quick?!

Rolling my eyes, I jumped on his bed and crawled under the covers with him, making him wriggle and look to see what was intruding his space.

'Oh, 'iiya Noods, Whussup?' he mumbled, rubbing his eyes and ruffling his hair.

I snuggled under his arm and pulled out the note.

'What does this mean, 2D?' I said, looking up at him, my fringe covering half my eyes.

'Er, lemmeseetha'' he yawned, taking it from me and reading it with blurry eyes.

2D studied the piece of paper for a moment, and then smiled.

'Wow, I'm full o'wisdom, ain't I? Err, it means really, tha' you don't need to be ashamed at yourself for doing silly 'fings and then beatin' yourself up for it, coz even the strongest o' people crumble. And that there's too little time to watch 'fings go wrong, so you gotta take action. Which is what you just done by asking me and also making sure everyfin' is ok between us.'

'Oh right…' I nodded, thinking of how stupid I was for not figuring that out… mind you… 2D does come out with all this wisdom crap at the most unpredictable times…

'…Thankyou, 2D' I nodded, sitting up and climbing out of his bed.

'Woooah. No yeh don't' 2D laughed, grabbing me and pulling me back into a hug. 'You an' meh have a lot the talk about., Noods, and plus I'm cold, so yeh gonna keep meh warm, and tell me everythin' ok?'

I looked up at him, confused.

'Everything… like what?' I asked

'Like, why you kissed me, and why you've been avoiding me, youn' lady.' He smiled warmly.

I gulped, and stared at him for a few moments.

He nodded, signalling me to carry on.

'….Well… it all started when…'

(Heyyyy :D sorry for the delayed update, schoolwork is catching me up bigtime :( oh well! haha. Enjoy this chapter... it all goes downhill from here :P)


	4. Thursday

**Disclaimer: No, Never and As if.**

Day 4.

My secret is out, and I don't think I could be much happier at the moment!

I think this week is starting to brighten up… big time, baby!

AAAAND... ACTION!

* * *

-knock—knock—knock-

'Oi, FACEACHE, wake up!' a harsh, scratchy voice called from the hallway.

I stirred and turned over, receiving a mouthful of t-shirt. I coughed and sat up, to see what was trying to choke me.

A smile spread across my face as I remembered, it was 2D's.  
Geeze, weirdly enough… I can remember last night quite vividly… I think.

Lemme tell you want happened…

Well, I spilled my secret, and now 2D's fully aware and clued up on the 'love' situation, and he's fine with it… thank god!

Afterwards, he went and got a crate of beer, to celebrate our little re-union type of thing… well… we re-united in a sort of way, did we not?

And one crate, led to another, and after going through 3 small crates, we were pretty… how shall I say it… fucked, haha.

So we decided to play a zombie game on one of his consoles, but that blew up, as he spilt some beer on it… so we 'stumbled quietly' to my room, and had a go on my new xbox, which I'm glad to say, has got 2D hooked, so now… he's always gonna be in my room… get innnn!

After a while, my phone rang, and 'every planet we reach is dead' started to play as it rung.

I ignored the phone, as I heard 2D start to sing along with it… staring me right in the eyes, as the chorus that always used to break my heart came up.

He grabbed me and spun me round to face him, pulled me into a warm, soft hug, and sang the words softly in my ear, making me tingle and go weak in the knees.

'_I lost my leg,  
Like I lost my way.  
So no loose ends  
And nothing to see me down.  
How are we going to work this out?_

_Dreams all bad,  
A head turned mad.  
I love the girl,  
But God only knows it's  
Getting hard to see the sun coming through  
I love you  
But what are we going to do?_

_Picture I'm a dreamer  
I'll take you deeper  
Down to the sleepy glow.  
Time is a low, don't you know?  
What are we going to do? _

_When we go down  
All this sickness out in space  
All it doesn't fall in  
It's so you  
I love you  
But what are we going to do?'_

After he'd finished singing, he let go of me, smiled that irresistible smile, and sat down on my bed, grabbing my hand and pulling me down with him.

I think I lost my footing, because somehow, I was on top of him. I mumbled a quick apology, and made to get up, but he shushed me and pulled me down, bringing my lips to his.

I think it might have been the alcohol doing all this, but hey… who am I to complain? I was pretty drunk myself… and 2D probably won't remember what happened

…although, I don't know how I can remember all this after being drunk, I think it's my programming… I can be paralytic, and still remember, as Murdoc has reminded me, many a time…

Anyway….

After we kissed for what seemed like an eternity… which was too short of one in my opinion… we cuddled up on my bed, and slowly fell asleep, 2D's arms wrapped around me, protecting me from the outside world, and my hands linked with his, to seal the bond.

…and then came Mr.Ego-of-the-year-OH-LOOK-AT-ME-I'M-EVIL-Murdoc, to spoil it all.

Murdoc banged on the door numerous times, each time alot harder than the last, his patience wearing thin.

'I'm coming...' I yawned, slouching over to the door and opening it.

'Why's 'e in 'ere?' Murdoc demanded, pointing a grubby, nicotine stained finger towards 2D.

'I had a nightmare, and I, er… asked him to stay, I was scared…' I pouted, looking up at him all innocent.

'16 and a half, and still scared of nigh' mares…' Murdoc mumbled, shaking his head. '…Anyway, I wanna know where 'is cigs are… I'm out.'

'There in me bedside draw, Muds' 2D said, voice muffled from the pillows.

I stared at Murdoc, in the 'okay-now-fuck-off' way, and he eventually got the message.

'Righ'. Bye.'

I closed the door after him, and smiled over at 2D, who'd shifted himself up into a half-sitting-half-laying position.

'Morning, sleepyhead' I whispered softly, wandering over to the bed and curling back up by him.

'Mornin' luv' he yawned, ruffling my hair and cuddling me close.

'How'd Mr. Cheerful know you were in here?' I asked, slightly confused.

'He probably searched all the usual places… this is one of them'

'Aaahh… true… anyway, how ya feeling?' I smiled, sitting up and poking him in the arm.

'Like me 'eads on fire, and 'm'all numb… wot 'bout you?'

'Not too bad... just feels like someone's drilling holes into my head, nothing much.'

2D laughed and ruffled my hair.

''m gonna go fo a shower and get my meds, I'll see you in a bit, luv.' He yawned, getting up and staring at me.

'Okay, 2D… I'll miss you…' shuffling uncomfortably under his gaze

'Same 'ere, Noods' he grinned, kissing me playfully on the lips before skipping out.

I stared after him… walking to my door and poking my head around, just to look a little bit more.

Oooh… his bum does look nice in them jeans, hahaha.

My mouth had found it's way of hanging so I look like a surprised goldfish, just as 2D turned around and winked at me, giving me a cheeky grin as he trotted off down the stairs.

I sighed a sigh of happiness, and leant against my doorframe, closing my eyes for a second.

I smiled to myself and opened them, turning round to go back to my room when I screamed.

Murdoc was standing right behind me, a VERY angry look in his eyes.

'Mornin' Noods.' He snarled, grabbing my shoulders and dragging me into my room. He pushed me up against the wall, a hand on each side of my head, so I couldn't escape.

'Eeer… Hi, Murdoc.' I stammered, trying not to look at him.

'So… you and me are gonna have a little… chat.' He sneered, running his fingers across my neck.

'…about what…?' I whispered, shivering from his fingers on my neck.

'I think you can guess, Noods.' He growled, right up in my face.

…Oooooh shit.

**(Im SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry for not updating in like... a century. So much schoolwork, i'm drowning in it. Hahaha. Well... ENJOY!... i told you it'd all go downhill ;) R+R :)**


	5. Thursday Evening

I'm in deep deep deep deep deep trouble…

Someone save me…

I think I might just be crusin' for a brusin'…

…or worse.

'_Helloo? Hellooo?! IS ANYBODY OUT THEREEE?!'

* * *

_

Murdoc inched his face closer and closer to mine, stopping just a millimetre from my lips.

'Your mine, luv, my band, my members… my girl. Russel can't 'av yah, Dullard can't 'av yah, no-one can.'

He ran one of his hands across my cheek as he snarled the words at me, making me shake with nerves.

'Y'see, Noodle… you came into MY band. You're here because I didn't send you away when you came in that goddamn box. YOU wouldn't be who you are, or be WHERE you are, without me. So…. You owe me. You OWE me a lot. And I think, I know what I want, darlin'…' he purred, running his hands down my chest and stomach, stopping just above my trouser line.

'I want… _this._' He finished, sliding his hand under the waist line, and running his fingers very lightly across the top of my underwear, making my skin tingle with pleasure… unwanted pleasure.

'…What… what do you think your doing?!' I whispered nervously, licking my dry lips and shifting myself slightly, in an attempt to get him out of my pants.

'Stop movin', BITCH.' Murdoc growled, grabbing my hair and yanking my head back, exposing my neck.

'Ouch, Murdoc, you're hurting me…' I whimpered, my heart rate quickening.

'I don' fuckin' care… after your El Manana shoot, I'm gonna find you, and I'm gonna take what's mine, and I don' care whether you like it or not…'

'Ow, Murdocccc….'

'Shut yeh fuckin' trap!' he whispered menacingly, licking my earlobe with his tongue.

He traced his tongue around my ear, and then ran it down my neck, making me shiver involuntary, giving him the wrong impression.

'Oh…yeh like tha', do yeh?'

'No, no, get the hell off me…' I mumbled, trying to steady my voice.

'No, no I won't. Are you gonna give me what I want, Noodle?' Murdoc smirked, inching his hand further downwards, digging his nails in as he did so.

'No… Murdoc, please...' I begged, helpless.

'Then I'm not gonna get off you…' he drawled, tightening his grip on my hair.

'Murdoc, ouch, get off me… wait until 2D and Russel hear about this… they're gonna slaughter you…' I growled, trying to sound as menacing as possible, in the current situation.

'Your not gonna FUCKING TELL THEM!' He yelled in my ear, causing me to flinch. '…Your going to keep your gob SHUT; otherwise, there is no future for you, madam.' Murdoc finished, letting go of my hair.

'G-ge-get your hand out…' I stuttered, knees slowly giving way.

'Promise me.'

'No…'

'PROMISE ME, BITCH!!'

'Okay… o-o-okay…' I sobbed, giving way to the tears that threatened to spill out a few moments ago.

'Good lass.' Murdoc grinned, digging his nails deep, making me bite my bottom lip hard, to stop a scream from escaping my mouth.

'…let this be a warnin' to yeh.' He laughed, dragging his nails upwards, slicing deep cuts into my skin.

Tears rolled down my face, as he sauntered out of my room, as if nothing happened, turning back to give me a wink.

I slammed and locked my door, collapsing onto my bed, shaking with each sob.

Okay, so I am a teenage killing machine, and I could of stopped Murdoc from doing all this… if I wasn't so terrified of him.

Murdoc to me, is like one of my worst nightmares…

Y'know when you're a little kid, and your scared of the monster in the closet, or the crocodile underneath your bed… or as you get a little bit older, the man waiting down a dark alley, offering you 'sweets'… well that's what Murdoc is to me… but x100 worse…

He KNOWS how frightened I am of him… but he won't do anything in front of anyone else… I'm braver then…

…but when I'm alone… that's when my nightmares come true…

…that's when the greasy haired bastard sneaks into my room, whispering unthinkable things in my ear, telling me how useless I am without him, how he made me what I am… who I am, how 2D and Russel don't really love me… how they think of me as their ticket to a very early retirement….

Or how one day, the zombies will get me, and no-one'll be there to help me, because they'll all be too busy with their own problems, how I'm just the annoying little girl, who gets in grown men's way with my hormones and teenage-ness…

I know none if it's true… but when you get told it over and over again… you do begin to wonder… it does begin to effect you… mentally and emotionally.

It's strange how it all started with my return from Japan, and my writing of Demon Days…

…I think Murdoc began to feel…threatened by me… I wasn't the little girl who didn't understand English anymore, I was an early teenager, who understood EVERY language, topped his IQ by far, and who was the backbone of Demon Days.

Not him.

Not the egotistical-Satan worshipping-leader of Gorillaz.

Me.

The lowly guitarist...

A niggling pain under my waistline of my jeans told me I needed to pay some attention to my wounds, so I gathered myself together, wiping my eyes with the back of my hands, and undone my jeans, taking them off completely and chucking them in the wash-basket.

I looked down at my wounds… five neat gashes ran diagonally up to my belly-button, not deep enough for heavy bleeding, but deep enough to leave permanent scarring…

'…bastard' I mumbled, trotting to my bathroom, dampening a flannel, and getting out some anti-bacterial cream.

I dabbed at the cuts with the flannel, biting my lip as each dab stung, and applying generous amounts of cream to each cut, hopefully destroying any crap Murdoc has in his disgusting nails.

After the cream has soaked in, I wrapped a bandage around my middle, found my loosest pyjama bottoms and a hooded jacket, threw them on, climbed into my bed, and cocooned myself, thinking of 2D, Russel, and how they still care for me… of all the good times we've had. 

I soon fell into a deep sleep, where 2D and I were wrapped up in our own little world, where no evil could get to us…

**(Hehehe... this came to my head so fast, i had to get it out before i forgot, so here's the next chapter, abit earlier than planned :P Enjoy! Yes.. it's dark... very very dark...)**


	6. Friday

_'Landed in a very common crisis  
Everything's in order in a black hole  
Nothing seems as pretty as the pastel  
That Bloody Mary's lacking her Tabasco  
Remember when you used to be a rascal? '_

* * *

I woke up, sweat clinging to me like a bad habit.  
I rubbed my eyes, yawning, and went to get up, to get into the shower. As i bent over, a sharp pain erupted from my waist, making me fall back in agony.  
'What the fuck?' i muttered, my teeth gritted against the pain. Then it hit me. Last night... wasn't just a dream. Like hell it could of been... dreams are never very painful.  
I got up, my hands clamped around my waist, and shuffled to the bathroom, when the door burst open, making me scream.  
'GET OUT' i yelled, spinning around in fury.  
'Woooah, woah Noods... calm down, honey!' Russell stammered, clutching his chest. 'You nearly gave this poor ol' man a heart attack!'  
'Awhh, Russell, i'm sorry! You scared me, thats all' I smiled gently, flushing red.  
'Whats wrong, Noods? Why you holding ya gut?'  
'Uhm... period pains... yeh... real bad today.' i lied, looking away from Russell.  
'Oooohhh, okay. I'll get you some ice cream whilst i'm at the shops, mmkay?'  
'Thanks, Russ' I giggled, waving goodbye and shuffling back into the bathroom.  
Once he left, i let out a groan of pain, and sat myself down ontop of the toilet seat, breathing out with relief at being able to sit down.  
My cuts looked red, raw and angry, so, cursing Murdoc as i went, i bandaged them up as best as i could, without getting myself in a tangle. Nursing has never been one of my strengths.  
After a while spent staring at the wall in the bathroom... an idea hit me.  
'Fucking... yes.' i smirked, getting up and wandering back to my bedroom.

-----

'Haha, beat you agaaaaaiiinnnn!' I sang, as 2D threw his controller down and admitted defeat. 'Yeh, you sure did...'  
I'd ran down to 2D's room, making sure noone (coughMurdoccough) saw me, about an hour ago, after the greatest idea in the world hit me.  
'So... 'bout this idea then, noods... you 'aven't told me nuffink yet!'  
'Patience... Mr.Tusspot... patience...' I giggled, as 2D threw a pillow at my head.  
I'd told 2D all about last night's little episode as we played one of his zombie games, it helped him not get as angry, and helped me, so i didn't have to look at him whilst i told him...because that would just be awkward.  
'Right... well... y'know we got our little family photo soon?' I yawned, stretching.  
'Yehh, that's err... t'morrah, ennit?' 2D asked, ducking out the way of my arms.  
'Yep... well... i'm gonna get Murdoc into alot of shit... ALOT.' I mused, grinning evily.  
2D chuckled. 'An' your gonna do that HOW?'  
'Just wait and see... just wait.' I smiled, giving 2D a wink and walking out of his room, leaving him staring after me, with a slighty confuzed look on his gorgeous face.

I skipped up the stairs, happier than earlier, and danced down the corridor, swinging my hips to the beat of Russell practicing his drums. I was in a little dream land, where no-one could get me, because i was simply in a state of extreme happiness... when someone HAD to come and shit all over my parade.  
Murdoc slouched down the corridor was i was dancing up it, so he decided he'd stick his foot out and trip me up, in mid-swing. I fell flat on my face, knocking my head against the wall as i went down.  
'Ugh... you bastard' I muttered as i got up, rubbing my head.  
'Pardon, luv, din't quite catch that!' Murdoc laughed putting his arm around my neck and roughly pulling me in for a sideways-ish hug.  
I gave him my dirtiest look, but he just laughed more and ruffled my hair, like i was five.  
'I'm not five, you know. I am seventeen now.' I said bluntly, fixing my hair back into place again.  
'Ooohhh... i know that' Murdoc said with a wink, kissing the top of my head.  
This really got me angry, how could he just act like last night didn't happen?!  
'Murdoc... just FUCK OFF, okay? I'm not in the mood for you, or your being an asshole, today, okay? Just bugger off.' I hissed, throwing his arm off me and storming down the corridor, slamming my door shut.  
I heard him giggle and say something along the lines of 'Woah, someone's on her rag.' as he disappeared down the stairs.  
'No, i'm fucking not!' I yelled after him, fuming.  
I muttered something under my breath and swung round, fell onto my bed and buried my head into the pillow, shutting out the world.

-----

I awoke to yelling and screams... not unusual, but still, i got up and decided to investigate further, and maybe yell at the person who awoke my peaceful sleep.  
I trotted down the corridor to the kitchen, where 2D was backed right up against the wall, Murdoc was being restrained by Russell, a knife in each hand and Mike, my monkey, was calmly smoking a fag in the middle of it all.  
Sighing, i stepped between the conflict, dragged 2D out the kitchen, comforting him, and allowed Russell to 'talk' things over with Murdoc.

As soon as 2D was out of ear shot of Murdoc, my nervousness broke through my mask of bravery and i lept onto 2D, worried.  
'What happened?' I said when i'd calmed down a bit.  
'Ahh... uhm.. Muds was just like 'Yeh all over Noods, stop it ya prat, she's too young for yeh' and all that bollocks, so i was like 'And so are yeh!' so he flipped at meh and went all crazy!' 2D explained, hugging me.  
Just as i was about to speak, Murdoc came charging out the kitchen, without weapons this time (thank god!), obviously in a fouler mood than before. 2D clung to me, like a scared child, and i grabbed hold of his hand, to comfort him. Murdoc saw, spun around and yelled at us both.  
'AFTER EL MANANA, NOODLE, YOUR GONE, FORVER! THANK FUCKING SATAN, I CAN'T STAND YOU HERE ANYMORE, YOU FUCKIN' LITTLE WHORE! YOUR A USELESS PIECE OF CRAP, YOU CAN'T PLAY GUITAR FOR SHIT, AND YOUR JUST SO GODDAMN ANNOYING.'  
2D opened his mouth to speak, but Murdoc clearly wasn't finished. He was just started...  
'AND YOU CAN SHUT YA FUCKIN' GOB TOO, FACEACHE, YOU DUMB ARSE TWAT! YOU THINK YOUR ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY 'COZ YOU CAN FUCKING SING LIKE A GIRL, BUT OHHHH NEWS FLASH, YOUR NOT! I OWN YA FUCKIN' ARSE, I MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE, SO SUCK. ON. THAT!' he screamed, storming off to the carpark.  
2D stood there, open mouthed.  
'I-i-i... i don't sing like a girl.' he stammered, gobsmacked.  
'He's not getting away with that...' i growled, heading towards the carpark. 'I'll be back in a minute, 2D'

I slammed down to Murdocs winnebago, where i could smell pot straight away. I rolled my eyes and barged in, shooting him my worst look ever.  
'What THE FUCK is your problem, old boy?' I raged, accidently on purpose knocking his precious bass guitar to the ground.  
'Pick that up, babe.' he drawled, sucking on the end of the spliff like his life depended on it.  
'Ooooookay, do NOT call me babe, and no. I won't'  
'Fair doos, girl.' he half smiled, staring at the ceiling.  
I stared at him... and suddenly felt pityful. Poor old Murdoc, hitting mid-fourties now, sex-crazed, sold his soul, drug addict and alcoholic, alone and sadistic. I felt a pang of guilt.  
We witnessed an awkward silence for a few minutes, before i plucked up the courage to ask the question i've been meaing to ask for a while now.

'Murdoc... who are you? ...I don't know who you are, anymore...' I whispered, tears threatening to spring from my eyes.  
Murdoc was silent for a moment, blowing smoke rings into his pet crow's face.

'Y'know... i ask mehself the same question everyday...'

* * *

**(Helloooooo!! I'm extremly sorry for the months of waiting for the next installment... i do have a life, and a very busy one at that. I firstly apologise for the spelling mistakes you may pick up... i no longer have MS Word... so no spellchecker, sorry, I have proofread it, but i might of missed a few. Secondly, i'm sorry for keeping you lot hanging, have fun reading the next bit! I need to get back into writing, i felt a little rusty producing this chapter! Hahahaha. Well... enjoy! Thanks for the patience. It's very much appreciated!)**


	7. Friday evening

The force of the feeling that got you so down  
Will you ever forgive me  
It was a perfect night  
And I wanted to say  
I love you  
And when the flood comes down I'll carry you and let the  
Past pass away

* * *

Murdoc coughed, smoke exploding from his mouth, and swore under his breath.  
I cleared a space on the floor and parked my ass down, I wasn't ready to leave just yet, I needed answers and I needed them now.  
"Why you making yer'self comfy for, bitch?" Murdoc drawled, tapping his ash onto the floor.  
I sighed heavily, and cursed himself in my head.  
"I'm not leaving until you answer my question, Murdoc… your being such a cock and there is no reason for it. Who are you? Murdoc? What made you like this?"

Murdoc sniggered, sitting up a little on his bed.

"Well, Noodle.. I am Murdoc Nicalls, creator of the band, Gorillaz."  
"Funny, Murdoc, your so fucking funny."  
"You wanted to know, I answered your question, so get the fuck out."  
I stared at him for what seemed like an hour. What is his problem?!  
"Okay then, Murdoc, have it your way. I'll 'get the fuck out'. I'll get the fuck out of your life, yeah? Leave you without a guitarist. Well, seeing as I can't play for shit anyway, you don't even NEED me, do you?!"

"Nope. Not at all. Close the door on your way out, Noodle… Yeh have to stay here until the El Manana shoot though. Otherwise, I'll kill yeh. Your contract will end after that. Pack up your stuff and say goodbye to your fucking gay-ass loverboy, as well. I don't want your whore-ass around here after the filming."

I blinked, confused.  
"You… you actually want me gone?!"  
"Wouldn't say it otherwise, doll."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to clear my head.  
He actually wanted me gone? But… I have done nothing, nothing at all…

"But Murdoc… I'm the guitarist… the best there is. It's in my nature…"

"And what? I'm sure there will be another little Japanese freak to hire."

"Murdoc! Seriously, please tell me your joking…"

"Wouldn't I have said so otherwise, Noodle?"

I looked down at the floor, speechless.  
A few minutes passed, until a small chuckle made me lift my head up and look at Murdoc.

I tilted my head at him, enquiring the chuckle.  
Murdoc grinned, an evil glint in his eye.

"Well Noodle, do you want to stay here? In this shit hole? With me, the man of your nightmares, with the zombies, with all the paranormal shit that goes on here? The rats, the spiders, the state of the toilets, do you really want to live in this squalor?"

I nodded, my mouth dry. This is my home, I live here… of course I would like to stay, but if only things were different, that'd make everything alright. I tried to speak but my mouth didn't feel like co-operating, fucking stupid thing…  
Murdoc cackled and sat up, his arms resting on his knees. He looked down at me, like I was a small child.

"Well, little Noodle, I have one condition for your little self."

"I'm not a child Murdoc, I can understand you…' I mumbled, feeling un-easy under his intense gaze.

"Would you like to hear my condition?" Murdoc said, raising an eyebrow.

"Um… well, Yes. Yes, I would, Murdoc. This is my home, I live here and I would like to st-" I began, but Murdoc, being Murdoc, cut across me.

"Sleep with me."

I looked at him, astounded.  
"W-wha-what?!" I stuttered, my ears trying to believe what had just been said.

Murdoc stood up, un-zipping his trousers as he did so.  
"Sleep with me, little Noodle, and everything will be alright again."

I stood up, my legs shaking.

"N-no, Murdoc, No. That's unacceptable. You can't expect me to… no."

Murdoc lunged towards me, grabbing my collar and throwing me onto his bed.

"Tough shit, Noodles, I told you that you were mine, and mine you are."

Murdoc sat himself ontop of me, pinning my arms down by my side.  
"No struggling, no screaming, this will be our little secret, okay? Make any noise, and I will knock you out. Period."

He let go of my arms and kneeled on them instead, making me gasp in pain. I watched, petrified, as he grabbed a knife and cut off my buttons on my shirt, one by one. He drew out this process, watching my face as he did so.

Did I mention that I hate him?  
Anyway, after all the buttons were cut off, he slipped the knife under the part of my bra linking the two cups together. I bit my lip, scared shitless, as he twisted the knife so one side of the blade was digging into my skin, and the other, fabric.

"Remember Noodle… No noises!" Murdoc growled, gripping the knife tightly.

I held my breath, and watched him for what seemed like forever, until he pulled the knife downwards, failing to cut the bra, but succeeding in slicing my skin. I screamed, and managed to unbalance him enough to push him off me. I sat up and looked down at the trail of blood travelling down my torso and collecting in my navel. Without a second thought, I jumped up and ran at the door, it's handle just within my reach.

I lunged forward to grasp it, and as I did so, Murdoc's disgusting green hand wrapped around my ankle and pulled me back.  
I screamed again, just as I landed flat on my face.  
I lay there, winded.  
I heard Murdoc scrabble up behind me, and before I could move, he shoved my head into his grimy floor.

"Just lay still Noodle, this won't hurt… much." Murdoc whispered in my ear.

I heard something move, it sounded wooden, and Murdoc slapping it in his palm.  
I heard a swoosh of whatever it was in the air, and I felt a deep pain on the back of my head.

Blackness clouded my vision, and my body felt like lead. I struggled to keep my eyes open, and my body wouldn't do what my brain was telling it.  
I blinked several times, willing myself to stay wake.  
I heard Murdoc swing the wood one more time and bring it down on the back of my head again.

Oh… fuck.

* * *

**I'm so sorry it's been so long. I sorta lost the will on fanfics, but hopefully, this is my comeback? :) I hope it's good!**


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